Wednesday 4th to Friday 6th March – Awake ðŸ˜³


Still in intensive care but I woke up!

From here I start to remember certain things and certain people visiting. I remember being so hot and everyone that visited had to fan me continually or I didn’t want them to come! I know they used to really complain about how it made their arms and shoulders ache. I bet they all dreaded coming in to see me when they knew they had to do that all the time. Also if Robyn, Leah or Gary said they were going, or sending someone else in or whatever, we all had to ‘pinky promise’ as to what time they would be back next, or how long the other people coming to see me would be etc (I guess that was one of my crazy ideas?!) We had to hook our little fingers together and say ‘pinky promise’!!!! I mean, where on earth did that come from? I’ve never heard of that before in my life.

I also was aware of some things that were going on and being said around me, but my head somehow turned them into very elaborate and detailed ‘dreams’ or ‘thoughts’ maybe. I don’t really know what you would call them.

One example is about me having a tracheotomy as a way to remove my breathing tube. The kids and Gary, doctors and whoever else, must have been talking about it when next to me and I obviously took it in. In my head there was no way Gary was going to let me have this done as, typically for him!!!!!!, he had done lots of research on it and it was a new thing being done in this country! Also he knew someone that was a paramedic or something and this man got out his role of knives (like some builders have their tools in) and was showing the doctors, saying that none of the knives would be sharp enough to do the job properly … 

As it happened, in ‘real life’ I didn’t need this in the end. Which was kind of lucky for my family as they had been asked to decide if they wanted me to have the tracheotomy or not. They eventually agreed that they were going to leave that decision to the doctors to make, who apparently just whipped out my tube!

I did have some adventures while I was in intensive care …

My friend Jackie visited with her son Tom. (He fanned me more or less the whole time he was there). He’s so nice. I can remember talking to them about normal things like Toms beard, Jackies aunty, the Co-op which is where they both work and her other son Andy too and also me (but Toms manager in a different shop!) Anyway in my head they were visiting me while I was in Oxford living with the doctors and nurses! One of the male nurses was looking after me there while working from home. Someone came round and was taking all our breakfast orders and I can remember asking if I had to pay. The nurse was sorting the dishwasher out, setting it to clean with some special stuff. The cleaners from the intensive care ward came round. I watched the doctors and nurses leaving for work and coming back from work and even getting ready to go out for the night! So going back to Jackie and Tom’s visit now, even though I talked to them sensibly at times, I probably talked a load of rubbish to them as well!

When Leah and my sister Lynda visited me I was on a train! I thought we were going out for the day and I asked Leah to get my jeans and my Converse shoes from home. I remember them saying at separate times that they were going to get a cup of tea and I said to them to make sure they were quick and got back on the train before it left. Apparently I was not very nice to them, swearing and shouting at them – sorry 🙊. The doctors and nurses from intensive care were also on the train, some going to work. One of the male nurses was doing renovations to the train as all the seats had been removed and it was being updated, and another was a PE teacher who was going in to work. A lady, who was my sister’s boss’ wife, at first ran the children’s nursery by the train station, then she was a school teacher going to work on the train. (In real life, when I became a bit more with it, she was actually one of the group of doctors that came round to see me!)

One day we had a lot of snow! This time i was living in something like a massive hollow ball (which is where I was when Julie and Hannah visited me once). It had frozen up in the cold weather and I couldnt get in! I was very ill and lots of different people were trying everything to get me in there … a man was there with his wife (in real life he used to be a vet in the town and they bought our second house from us!!), both my brothers came at different times trying different things, Robyns boyfriend Tom came, Emmas boyfriend Jamie came, when he had finished college! (which took him ages because of the weather) and then he did something with the trees. Gary and Leahs boyfriend Jack were some kind of crazy comedy double act and they kept popping up together in different places – so weird.   Other people were just waiting around in the cold snow and watching. Also next to all this going on was a stage with a lady singing and someone made an announcement on the radio that more help was needed to get me inside where I should have been. People were also agreeing on the radio to send money donations. And Toms band Dance a la Plage were going to play for free to raise money for me too. So much went on in that ‘adventure’ of mine’!

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