Tuesday 3rd November
The day has come. A year since I was last fit enough to work, on the tills in our local Co-op store. And I’m back. I made it through 😃
This made me think back a bit. Blimey I did struggle during those last few months when I was still working. It was such an effort to get myself to work, then serve my customers and be pleasant to them when I was feeling so awful. Many of them used to say to me ‘what on earth are you doing here, you should be at home’
Then when I got home after my shift was over I was fit for nothing but still had all the normal jobs to do, washing, cooking meals, tidying etc. It was very hard. When I sat down in the evenings I just couldn’t stay awake. The tiredness was one of the hardest things to live with. It made everything such hard work (it’s one of those things that no one will ever understand unless they’ve suffered it themselves). I think maybe sometimes people didn’t believe me, both in general life and at work.
I’m not trying to make myself out to be amazing or anything like that at all because I’m not, but I just didn’t want to give up. Then eventually, last November, my GP told me enough was enough, I wasn’t doing myself any favours, and I shouldn’t work any more. I knew at that time that I had to take his advice.
So here I am, a year later, having had two liver transplants and all the troubles that came with them, and I’m back on my till! I know I’m only doing two shifts a week, each of four hours, but I’m back. I’m doing these hours for a month to see how I get on with it, then adding another shift of four hours for another month and then it will all be reviewed and will go on from there. I had to go through Occupational Health to kind of get these hours agreed, as my boss seemed to want me to get back up to my normal contract of 24 hours a week within 6 weeks, and I’m not sure I can do that See how I get on I guess.
I wasn’t at all worried about going back. I thought I was going to be a bit nervous but I wasn’t at all. I was looking forward to it. And thankfully I was feeling well today so I think that helped too. I think it will all be very different again when I have to go on a day I’m not feeling quite 100%
I had to catch up with some things on the computer first, that all staff have to do regularly anyway, and then I went onto the shop floor and just stood behind one of the other ladies to refresh my memory. I did this for about half an hour and then it was my turn. I was glad I had the chance to watch first because I had forgotten a lot of it (though amazingly earlier I had remembered my 6 digit clocking in number) My very first customer was another lady who works in the shop who had just finished her shift!!
My time to feel weird about it all was when I got home! I kind of felt like ‘what on earth was I doing sat here, I should still be working’ and I didn’t know what to do with myself at first. I was completely out of my routine. I made myself have a bit of lunch but as it was now the middle of the afternoon, I then wasn’t really that hungry in the evening So I guess I need to sort that problem out!
I was lucky enough to get a little present from Robyn for my first day back at work too 😃😃😃