Upset

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Monday 7th December

Up early for a trip to Birmingham. 

For a start what I really had to remember was to not take my medication this morning as I would be having my blood taken at clinic later and they would want accurate readings today, as for my last appointment I forgot and took my tablets as I normally would :/

Gary had a day off today so he was taking me and Robyn for a change. So we decided we would pay a visit to the Bullring shopping centre before my clinic visit in the afternoon.

It is nice there but sometimes I think it is too big. You just can’t get round it all. The Christmas market was there too but we didn’t even have chance to walk around there. That may have been a good thing as my back was killing me and I needed to sit down really.

It soon came round to clinic time. I had been called back a week early as my kidney blood results were a bit higher than what they should have been so they wanted to check what was going on. This may be as a result of my medication, don’t know. So I had my blood taken as always and depending what my results are, they may reduce my tacrolimus again. Will just wait and see on that front.

As you will have read I’m still getting my pains after just an hour of walking around. Is this just an age thing? I would have thought I should still be able to walk around for more than an hour at the age of 48? It didn’t seem to be my Vitamin D deficiency in the end which they first thought it might be, and from reducing my tacrolimus last month that hasn’t made it better either. So Prof Newberger decided to do an X-ray today on my lower back to see if that shows anything up and he was also sending some of my blood to be tested to see if it showed up any inflammation markers.

I was upset later at home. The doctor had asked me if I had anything planned to look forward to, like a trip to India he said! and I said no I hadn’t, just a holiday in Cornwall but that’s not until next Summer! I thought I had been doing reasonably well in getting on with things and going places and going back to work (even though it’s only a few hours) but this made me feel a bit like maybe I’m not really doing all the things I should be doing now :/ But I have always kept in my mind what the lovely Kate Jakes said to me when she first visited me back when I was in Critical Care. She told me to take my time, not to rush things, listen to my body. And at that time she had undergone 3 liver transplants so I think she was talking from experience. 

On quite a few days I still don’t feel 100%, and on top of that there’s my poor body to consider. Sometimes I feel like I could just lay on the sofa and watch daytime tv all day. But I don’t, I always make myself get up and get on with something, whatever it may be. So how on earth am I supposed to go trekking in India! Then I got to thinking that maybe I haven’t recovered as well as I should have done 😰 

Leah came and spoke to me and told me that I WAS doing very well and not to listen to anyone else! She said to remember that the doctors had told us all right from the start that it would take me a long time to recover. She also text me later and said that she was very proud of what I had done and she knew that Robyn was to. My lovely daughters πŸ˜ƒ

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