Monday 14th September
Clinic visit today. I was looking forward to it for one reason only. I was going to see a very special lady first. My nurse from Critical Care, Anisa. She looked after me when I first went in there and had just come back from surgery, when I was very ill between transplants and quite a few times after. I remember her telling me that she went down to theatre with me when I was about to have my second transplant and that she gave me a wash and did my hair for me while we were waiting to go in. That is very special to me and whenever I think about it I get upset … She also always did my hair after my morning wash too, not all the nurses do that. This probably sounds really silly to everybody else but when you are led in a hospital bed for weeks and are not able to move or do anything for yourself, these tiny things feel so nice and make you feel a tiny bit human again, maybe even a bit more presentable for visitors when they come, because they must have been thinking ‘oh my goodness me’ or words to that effect! when they first saw me. I must have looked horrendous. She was very caring and made me feel safe. Sometimes I felt very scared while I was in Critical Care and I was always so pleased to find out Anisa was going to be my nurse for the day. When I had my crazy dreams, she was sometimes in those too. Anisa – you are an angel 👼
Anisa was also very helpful to Robyn, Leah and Gary too. As she was the first nurse they saw when visiting me after surgery they told me she always explained everything to them and tried to reassure them. Anisa told me they were all very nervous and scared when they first got there. I think they soon felt at home in there though, always asking questions of the nurses and doctors, they knew everything that was going on in great detail. I think they knew as much as the liver doctors did at that stage! This meant that they could tell me everything that had happened while I was asleep and when I was crazy, which I had told them before transplant that I definitely wanted to know. I don’t think they know how extremely proud of them all I am, for the way they coped and dealt with things through a very difficult time. Totally amazing.
So anyway, me and Robyn went down to Critical Care when we first arrived at the hospital, pressed the buzzer (Robyn told me that the buzzer still fills her with dread from her time visiting me) and were told that Anisa was coming out to us. She asked me if I was okay and how I was getting on. She told me I looked amazing! She was so pleased that I had come to see her. She said they just get to see the patients when their all swollen and full of wires and don’t normally see them again after that. As we were talking my liver transplant co-ordinator Julie came round the corner. Bit of a coincidence! So we had a bit of a chat with her too. Then Anisa asked if I wanted to have a look around Critical Care. Hmm, when I went in before I found it a bit upsetting, but I did want to go in again. Kind of In we all went. Anisa was going around asking the nurses that were free if they had looked after me! So I met two more, Tracey who I remembered a bit and Sarah who I remembered a lot!!
Thanks Anisa – for everything 😚
Then it was time for my scan. I was having an ultrasound before clinic today, I thought that the doctor told me last time that it was to check if I still had any fluid but the lady just seemed to be checking that everything seemed okay I think. So I asked her and she said there was a tiny bit of fluid around by my spleen but nowhere else. She said it all looked and sounded okay (they listen to the blood flow) so that was good news.
I was not allowed to eat and was only to drink water before the scan so I was now a bit peckish and weak feeling! But because I had to wait ages for my scan we didn’t really have enough time to get lunch for me so we just went to the Costa that is in the hospital and I got a latte and a blueberry muffin! Of course Robyn had been very organised as usual! and had brought her lunch with her.
Bet she wished she hadn’t 😀
It was then time for my clinic appointment. I saw another different doctor. I don’t know if he was in a rush to get home or what but it was as if he wanted to get us out of the room pretty quick! I’m not going to go into detail but I left the room feeling a bit let down. I haven’t felt like that with any of my visits there before. I know I don’t like going to clinic anymore but I’m sure it wasn’t just me and that was the reason why I was feeling like this
After you have seen the doctor you then have to go back to the waiting room to wait to have your blood taken. While we were waiting we saw a man who was a couple of beds away from me in Critical Care, he was sat forward with his head in his hands and didn’t look well to me. This, along with my appointment with the doctor I think, all got to me and I got very upset. Bit embarrassing while sat in a waiting room full of people but oh well, you can’t help your emotions can you?
Then this lady sitting next to me showed me lots of bruises up her arms and said she was embarrassed by them and had to wear long sleeves all the time. It was caused by her medication. She said ‘I nearly died 18 months ago’, she had some kind of hepatitis. I said to her ‘oh, I nearly died in February!’ Funny isn’t it, what you say to complete strangers in waiting rooms 😳
I was so glad to get out of there. It had all blown my mind.
We stopped off to get some shopping and then headed for home. Even that wasn’t going to be straight forward for us today. Apparently there had been an accident on the motorway and we got stuck in loads of traffic again.
Poor poor Robyn. She hates having to take me to clinic and doing other things for me on her day off and I don’t think it’s too fair on her all the time either. I don’t like being a burden to anyone. Sorry 😠