So I’m sat at home thinking I just can’t put another one of these tablets in my body, which I think are making me feel so ill. So as its Saturday I have to ring 111. I speak to an operator who always asks the same questions (over the years I’ve had many dealings with these) to check if you’re not having a heart attack. Because I tell her I’m waiting for a liver transplant she says she needs to get me to speak to one of the nurses who might know a bit more. She rings me back and you have to go all through the same stuff again. She says I need to speak to a doctor. So I wait and eventually she phones back. Answer all the same things again. Bear in mind that all this time I’m just feeling unwell and this is the last thing I want to be doing. She really wanted me to go to hospital because it could have been that my liver had just got worse. So I asked if I could try stopping the tablets and see how I felt. She said she would let me do that if I went to the Out of Hours Department, which they hold in the Horton Hospital in Banbury, so they could take my blood and she could wait for the results and see if there was any change in my liver function. So we agreed to do this.

When I get there she is the only medical person there so it will be her taking my blood so I wait my turn. At last I go in and she puts the rubber tourniquet so tightly round the top of my arm it is so extremely painful. She says can I bear it while she takes the blood so I try and think of something else. She gets the blood first time which is quite unusual cos my veins are tiny and when they put the needle in they sometimes disappear away from them. But anyway she got the blood. Soon as she took the needle out there was instant pain and a big lump just above where the needle had gone in. She said she must have just caught an artery and needed to compress my arm. This was horrendously painful, especially when she touched the lump, I nearly hit the ceiling! After a few minutes she found this massive bandage which she was going to have to use because she didn’t know where anything else was. This was wound round my arm so tightly it was extremely painful and uncomfortable.

I came out of there in tears. It was supposed to have been a routine blood test to see if I could stop the tablets and make me feel better and she had given and left me in extreme pain, and feeling terrible.

We left the hospital and Gary just went down to the car wash. I couldn’t bear the pain any longer I was going to have to take this bandage off. My fingers and hand were going blue, swollen, I got pins and needles and then couldn’t feel my fingers.

Luckily we hadn’t left Banbury so we went back to the hospital, waited again and I eventually got to show her my arm. She said ‘that’s not right’ And took the bandage off. What a relief! The lump had gone down a lot but my arm felt like it had been jumped on by two 20 stone rugby players. Didn’t feel too great for the rest of the evening but I think I had a better nights sleep than I have had for a while. What a day 😠

Upset this morning. I can’t deal with feeling like this anymore. Almost as bad as when I take codeine. I NEED to stop taking these Shingles tablets.

Still not a great day. Suffering from extra extreme tiredness to normal and feeling sick. Feel like a wobbly jelly with lead weights hanging off my legs and arms. Hate this feeling. Wanted to walk into town but just wasn’t up to it. 

People seem to keep waking me up and making me take massive tablets which make me choke. I don’t like it. This happened Friday morning again even tho I was awake in the early hours of the morning feeling sick and had tummy pains. And then in the morning I just couldn’t wake up 💤 One of those days when I had to have an afternoon sleep. Then later had a sudden thought, maybe it was the tablets they had given me for Shingles that was making me feel so nauseous and rough. So I’ve got to try them with anti sickness tablets now and see how I feel with them. Can’t wait to finish taking these horrible tablets. I’m sure when I’ve had Shingles before I didn’t feel as ill as this. Or maybe it’s because my liver is so much worse now. Who knows?

Couldn’t sleep. Couldn’t breathe. So sneaked into Robyn’s bed.

Woke up with headache and feeling sick and generally not well. Just not with it. Got up but just led on sofa and must of fell back to sleep as next thing I knew it was quarter to eleven. So I had to force myself to have some Cheerios for my breakfast and take all my medication. Didn’t do much and just sat about then thought it’s no good I’m going to have to go back to bed. Something I have avoided doing for a long time because it makes it even harder than normal to sleep at night, but I just had to today. Eventually came round, did a couple of jobs and thought I had better eat again. This eating game is so annoying and hard to do when you just don’t feel well. 

I felt a little brighter. This meant I was able to get to the salon where Robyn is a hairdresser because she said she could do my hair for me. I did think earlier in the day I was going to have to cancel. Walking there tired me out! (have been quite breathless today at times) and it’s not very far from my house. I wasn’t too bad to start with but then I started to get fidgety which I know annoyed her but she was very good with me this time, as sometimes she loses her temper with me!!

She then tells me she’s going to wake me up in the morning before she goes to work to make sure I take my extra tablet I’ve got for Shingles as if I’m up late it’s hard to fit 5 in a day. She’s in bed asleep now and the thing is I’m sure I told her the box was red and it’s actually blue …

Stressed – that’s all.

HELLO! I’m back in the world of the living at last – well I think I am anyway.

I had such a bad night Friday night. I couldn’t settle then when I did I woke up a few hours later not knowing what to do with myself. I felt sick and I can’t explain the rest! just very unwell. Eventually slept.

Saturday felt very unwell. Wasn’t with it. Saturday night still unwell so as my two daughters were going out I stayed at my sisters because couldn’t really be left alone. But I did manage to get some sleep that night.

Sunday morning I was really disappointed to find I was still feeling unwell. Maybe lunchtime picked up a tiny bit but think backache started. Then think I found the culprit, shingles rash. Sunday evening couldn’t sit still, had enough by this time, I went to bed. Woke in night then woke early this morning. Still have backache, very weak and tired but a bit more with it I think and wanting to actually pick up my blog to update it and do other jobs, which I have had no incentive to do or been able to do, all weekend. I have had Shingles before but this is definitely the worst it has made me feel. Absolutely terrible.

So QE Hospital in Birmingham has been rung. I’ve been to the doctor and she says its Shingles. More tablets 😦 So I’m now waiting to hear back from Birmingham but I will be off the transplant list until I have recovered from this.

I have been very tearful with my daughter this morning about all the goings on and what I feel like, what I can do etc. And I know I’m really annoying everybody else as well as her. So I’m sorry …

I forgot to say my brother in law made me a fruit cake (good for 1 of my snacks my dietician told me) which my sister brought over for me.

Delicious – thanks John 😃



Didn’t feel well this morning. Didn’t want to get out of bed. But was meeting my big sister for a cup of tea. So I walked into town and met her there. Had a chat. She’s going to Spain next week for a week of golf. She’s only allowed 1 suitcase of a certain size. Robyn good job your not going, you would NO WAY fit all your stuff in. She’s gonna wear her clothes on the plane apparently. Two shirts, two jumpers. Interesting 🙂 Then I called in to work to give my boss my latest sick note. He said my sickness pay had run out! So I’ve now got to try and find out about Employment Support Allowance I think it’s called. Good job I’ve still got my wits about me!!!

Then I went into a gift shop which I have a voucher for. My mum (who very sadly died in May of last year and we are all still suffering badly from it) bought it for me for either Christmas or birthday one year but I just haven’t found anything I wanted in there. This time I manage to find some earrings which match with the heart necklace Robyn bought me for Christmas from there. So I am really happy about that. They will all be very special to me now.

I just pop to the supermarket and my phone just dropped out of my hand. I smashed my case up. Think phones ok thank god or I would be in trouble. Then I go a bit wobbly and I’ve still got to walk home yet. I manage it. People just probably think I’m drunk! I probably had done too much as not feeling great and needed some food. Makes me cross tho that I can’t even manage that. But I am not gonna give in.

Thursday was quite a difficult day. I seemed to be upset about anything and everything.

Then Leah comes home from work and she tells me about her difficult customers or the till won’t balance or no one knows the password and she manages to solve the problem. She is a clever girl, she has a good way of thinking about things. Then sometimes she tells me about what she’s read on the Daily Mail website or do you know ‘whoever’ on Facebook, well she’s died So she keeps me entertained.

Then Robyn cuts Leah’s hair and she goes from just having a tiny trim to having a fringe again. Does look nice tho.

Bit later I get upset. Think Robyn gets a bit cross with me. But she is very good with me. She talks a lot of sense to me, finds me things to do like looking up websites and things and she showed me something on the NHS Organ Donation Campaign Facebook page, a young lady who had 3 liver transplants so I don’t know why I make a fuss sometimes. She’s writing a blog too. I didn’t read all the details last night but I will be.

They both help me in very different ways and I am grateful to them both.

Here’s the little pictures for you Robyn 💆 💇 🍎 and you Leah 💻📞 🍕 I know you felt left out when I used some on a previous post for Gary and Lynda.